introducing sarah jane

This week, Dillyhearts welcomes columnist Sarah Jane. She's a stay-at-home mom with three children who writes a parenting column for the Mukilteo Tribune. We will be posting her column regularly on our blog. Enjoy!

SarahJane goes Bang Bang

When I first tried to tell my husband I wanted to write a parenting humor column, the conversation didn’t go as planned.

We were in the minivan, returning home to Mukilteo after a weekend at my mother’s house. Our young daughters were in the backseat, supposedly occupied with their Barbie dolls so we could engage in meaningful uninterrupted conversation.

Although I know better than to corner a man with serious conversation in a moving vehicle, I was yearning for a tender discussion of my future career plans. Specifically, how to merge my experience as a stay-at-home mom with my desire to become a writer.

“So about my writing…” I said.
“Yeeesss?” Joe replied. I could almost hear his eyes roll as if I had mentioned my bid for the next presidential election.
“Well, ever since the writer’s conference I’ve been—“

“—BANG BANG!” says Daughter #1, “I put my BANG drum on my BANG window and BANG BANG!”
“NOOO!” says Daughter #2, “NOOO bang bang. I don’t want the bang bang. I want to doctor you!”

I continue a little louder, “—you see, what I really want to write about is—”
“What the heck is wrong with the CD player?” interrupts Joe. “I turned it off and now it says ‘Track 1’ and then it switches to the radio.” He glares in the rearview mirror. “Annie! How many pennies did you put in the CD player? Did you put two in there?”

“MAMA!” says Elise, “MAMA! I dropped my Barbie doll! Get it, get it!”
Twisting my body backward I fumble blindly for her doll, my cheek wedged against her carseat while she whacks her ladybug boots against my head.
“I bang you with my boots, Mama! BANG, BANG!”

When I straighten, Joe has stuffed a CD in the player which seems to resolve his problem. There is silence between us. I wait for him to resume our conversation, to prompt me to continue where I left off, to ask questions and investigate the depths of my feelings…

More silence.

“Are you interested in what I have to say?” I can’t believe I’m pandering. “Not really. Between this CD player that won’t work and the girls yammering in my ears, I’m just waiting for you to get your point.”

I sulk for a while and just when I decide not to mention him in the acknowledgements of my yet-unwritten-but-destined-for-success novel, he adds, “If you want to write, you have to put on your helmet and get in the game.”

Fast forward two years. I’m still a stay-at-home Mukilteo mama, now with three children, but today I debut as the writer of this column. So if you have a dream, I hope you too will take heart, have courage, and put on your helmet and get in the game.